Tuesday, November 1, 2011

"delete this from your memory" (an early morning exchange)

I woke up today and couldn't bring myself to walk on the treadmill. It was dark and cold and I was super cozy. When I finally pulled myself out of bed, Cooper padded in to our room and promptly sneezed five times.

Then he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said the words I never want to hear.
"Momma, I'm sick"

Poor kid- sneezing, sniffling, headache, body aches.
So. NOT. Good.
I had a marathon meeting from 9 until 5 that I simply couldn't miss.

So, like any good mother, I dosed him up with meds, stuck him in the shower and waited to see whether there might be any hope.


So, I got him snuggled back in bed and sent an email letting my team know that I would need to attend the meeting via phone.

I'm thankful that I have that option because otherwise, I'm up a creek.
There is no back up plan.

To calm my nerves and get me ready for the battle of an 8 hour conference call, I did what I'm sure many people would.

I cleaned out a closet.
I've needed to do it for a while and I had 30 minutes to kill since I didn't have to drive to work.

And after I was finished, I shot a message to Jon-


From: Carolyn
Sent: Tuesday, November 01, 2011 7:39 AM
To: Jon
Subject: Sick kid

No school for him.
Poor thing.

His response-

From: Jon
Sent: Tuesday, November 01, 2011 07:48 AM
To: Carolyn
Subject: RE: Sick kid

What wrong with him? Too much candy? His ear hurts? Do you need me to come home?

My response-

From: Carolyn
Sent: Tuesday, November 01, 2011 7:55 AM
To: Jon
Subject: Re: Sick kid

Not ear silly. (he had this weird ear wound...but it's not a reason to stay home)
He is sneezing, stuffy, head aches, throat hurts, can't move his body hurts.

I can work from home today- you stay


He shot me back a message letting me know that he had downloaded some sports stuff on his computer that Coop might like and this was my response-

From: Neblett, Carolyn [mailto:carolyn.neblett@capitalone.com]
Sent: Tuesday, November 01, 2011 8:55 AM
To: Jon Neblett
Subject: RE: Sick kid

Awesome, thanks.

I cleaned out the hall closet- tons of stuff to take to the Good Will and
lots to throw away too. I'm getting brutal!

Hope you have a good day-

And with that, I thought the exchange was finished and we'd both go on with our days.

Until this came....

From: Jon
Sent: Tuesday, November 01, 2011 9:26 AM
To: Carolyn
Subject: RE: Sick kid

Wow that's awesome.

Another thing I think we could do is revamp our whole disk/glass situation.
I think we could buy some place setting of just one thing. We have such a hodge podge of plates, bowls glasses ect. Some of which we use very little if at all. I don't know how much that stuff costs but Im willing to pay for it as I really think it would help us stay more organized. Im thinking something very plain but practical (like a solid color).

Perhaps we could take all the old down the river. Let me know your thoughts.

My response-

From: Carolyn
Sent: Tuesday, November 01, 2011 10:38 AM
To: Jon
Subject: RE: Sick kid

I'm not sure what a disk/glass is but I think you may be treading on thin
ice here.
We have dishes- they are blue/yellow/white and we have a service for 8
(dinner plate, bowl, salad plate and cup/saucer). What about them isn't
organized and what about dishes that we already have isn't practical?

So that my head doesn't explode- this is probably a conversation to have in

: )

His response-

From: Jon
Sent: Tuesday, November 01, 2011 10:42 AM
Subject: RE: Sick kid

I will never speak of it again, please delete from you memory.

The word disk should have said dish.


Ok, couple things here.

1) I'm not sure what he could have written that might have shocked me more.
2) I ADORE our dishes. They make me happy every time I take them out of the cabinet.


3) I have been working really hard over the past year on being more organized and being less attached to "stuff". I'm purging and getting rid of things that I never would have dreamed of throwing away before. And for the life of me, I couldn't imagine what in the world was wrong with the way our dishes were organized and how changing the color of the dishes would help.

Unless he doesn't like the dishes.

But seriously- is that even possible? How could he have an opinion on the dishes that we've used for our entire married life?

4) To be clear, these dishes pre-date him. We didn't register for everyday dishes when we got married because I had these and they were basically brand new.

So, when he got home I brought it up. And do you know what he said?

"It really doesn't have anything to do with being organized. I don't like those dishes. Well actually, it's not that I don't like them really- it's just that I'm TIRED of them"

Really? Tired of them? Do they really impact you that much? Would it kill you to eat from the same plate that we've used since 1999?

And then I wondered.
Are these dishes out? Am I screaming 1995, which is when I got the dishes? Am I living in the past? Are they offensive? In bad taste? Tacky?

Should I cave and get new dishes (after all, he did say he'd pay for them!)
Because really, I do love plain white dishes and have coveted them from Wade and Sarah ever since they registered for them.

But a replacement plate is selling for $54 at Replacements and $30 on e*bay. That's gotta count for something. And so does using what you have- and not creating more excess.

What do I do?


Lora said...

Carolyn!! This is exactly what happened to me. Well, the dishes part. We re-painted and countertopped our kitchen a couple years ago, when we bought the house we had this totally-90's peeling wallpaper that had to go. The thing is though, it perfectly matched my dishes that I LOVED.

That were from 1998.

Someone said something really hurtful about my dated kitchen, and made a dig at my dishes.

And it hurt really bad because they were so trendy and gorgeous. In 1998.
And like yours, Replacements had them for hundreds of dollars. And my dad (who happened to have the same set, but I didn't know it because our relationship was not good in the 90s) had sold his piece by piece and made hundreds on ebay.

So,I couldn't bring myself to sell them but I packed them up and put them in the basement and bought a few sets of plain white Corelle dishes and I am infinitely happier. And it only cost me $100 or so to have service for 10

And everyone who comes over now LOVES the dishes because they are so simple and they don't weigh a lot like my old ones did and they remind them of being little and fed pb&j's and tomato soup and stuff and I love them because they are so simple and they don't weigh a lot and they make everyone so darned happy.

So what to do?

I can't tell you.

But I feel every ounce of what you are feeling right now.

And I sure do hope that C gets better.

dana said...

You are in a pickle my dear, but if you love your dishes then keep them and use them. Maybe buy a few solids to mix in to keep Jon happy, too?

for the love of a house said...

Y'all are too funny and too cute. I say it's good to encourage such things in men;) and if he would like white and you really like white, just box these up and you can always bring them back out later! I'm a white dish girl myself, so I'm a bit biased, but I think you will love them!!


p.s. does Replacements actually sell anything or do they just charge unheard of prices?! try selling to them and they'll offer you pennies, I tried once;)