Let me begin by saying that this isn't a rated G post......brace yourselves. That being said, it is humorous in a way but more so, it's upsetting. I'm changing the spelling of a word to ensure that I don't get searched by freaks via the internet!
On Thursday we were eating at our favorite deli and Cooper says-
"Do you know that NFL team called the pen!s suckers?"
I almost spit out my drink and Jon nearly choked on his sandwich.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"The football team, in the NFL, they are called the pen!s suckers"
At this point, Jon looks away and I realize I'm on my own....he's unable to form sentences and as such is completely useless.
So I say-
"Buddy, there isn't a team called that. Why did you think there was?"
And he says with all seriousness and innocence-
"Well we have this game at after care and there is a team called that and they're really good. I was wondering when they would be on TV so we could watch them play."
Ok, so clearly we've got an issue at after care. A gazillion things are running through my mind and I say-
"You know, I think someone made that name up...and actually, we can't ever say those words together because they really aren't nice. Ok?"
And he says-
"Ok, but Momma, they are really good. I wish they were real!!"
Jon now enters the conversation having recovered from his inability to deal and starts talking about actual NFL teams and we continue our dinner without issue.
On Friday, I call my friend Jess at 8:15 to get some support before I call the director at our after care program who happens to be a really cute 27 year old guy who I'm sure is not expecting to discuss this particular subject with me on a Friday morning. My word!
So I call, and explain that I've got a concern that may throw him off a bit but that I really need his help in putting a stop to. And I tell him.......and there is complete silence on the line. COMPLETE. SILENCE.
He recovers (faster than Jon) and says that he's not really sure how that could be since the counselors are in the room when the kids are playing video games. And I say- that's fine- but could you check.....clearly Cooper was totally convinced that they were real, enough so that he wanted to check local scheduling to see when we could tune in. He assures me that they'll figure it out and will rid the center of any such references. He apologizes- profusely- and thanks me for letting him know.
And really- I feel like such a good mom. On the other hand- he's going to after care where he's exposed to stuff like this and if I was at home he wouldn't be. So now I'm wrought with guilt. Where is that bubble that I wish we lived in....that one that protects us from all the terrible in the world??
Yesterday I picked Cooper up and got pulled aside by the director. Seems that he and his assistant went through all of the games and indeed there was a team with that name along with some others that Cooper hadn't mentioned. They've deleted them and will add another monitoring step into their video game rules. If I hadn't called, they would have never found it.
I have rid the world of a teeny bit of filth that my sweet 7 year old should never be exposed to.
Score 1 for Momma!