VERiZON still STINKS

You can read about the 1st part of my saga here-

Because Maria isn't in billing, she couldn't help me with my bill pay set up.
So she transferred me to Mrs. T. She's in the Financial Department.

Mrs. T said she could only help with online billing that was established. Since I had one account that was established, and one that wasn't, I needed to go to another rep. I begged her not to transfer me, but she did.

To the BILLING Department....
Here I spoke with Shabeeb. He said that he was in DSL billing, and since I had a FIOS account, he couldn't help me. He'd need to send me to someone else.

If you're counting, we're up to 5 reps.

Enter Darryl. I have high hopes.
Darryl is able to provide me with a critical piece of information- my old account number HOWEVER, although he's in the FIOS department, he's not in BILLING.

Yup- rep #6
Hello LaRon. He's in customer service billing. LaRon tries to get me to upgrade my account, which as you may surmise nearly sent me over the edge AGAIN. He cannot help me because he's actually customer service and NOT BILLING.

WHAT IS GOING ON????
Is Verizon trying to make me lose my mind?? I've now been on the phone for almost an hour. And have rec'd minimal help. I have a distinct feeling that the Verizon gods are laughing hysterically at this ping pong game that they've been playing with me today.

LaRon transfers me to Vernon. During the transfer I hear random voices and people talking and I'm really not sure whether these were hallucinations or if LaRon thought he put me on hold but didn't.

Anyway- now I'm talking to Vernon. Well, I'm TRYING to talk to Vernon except he cannot hear me and I cannot hear him and I am literally YELLING into my phone and I feel like a total moron so I tell him my story and he says.....

WAIT FOR IT.....

"Let me get you to Billing"

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND PURE.

I tell Vernon that I cannot hear him and that I'm going to have to end the call.
At that point, I have been on the phone with them for 1 hour, 8 minutes and 47 seconds.

I want to poke me eyes out.